Trust your loved ones with Christ

Let me tell you something else. Sometimes there are such people here and everywhere in the world who, because they are not occupied with personal love and relationships, direct all their interest in changing children, relatives, correcting them, changing the world. This indicates the absence, lack of our own happiness. A happy person does not interest others so much, he lives with his love.
I asked one woman who oppressed her child:
"Do you have a husband?"
- Yes.
- You love each other?
- But why are you asking?
- Do you feel love and unity with your husband? Are you a happy wife? If you were a happy couple, a happy couple, but only for real, with everything behind the word "happiness", you would not be so worried about the child.
Often our anxiety about others shows that somewhere in your personal life, in a relationship with your companion, we are not happy. Therefore, we start to engage in others. Like in a monastery, when a monk or nun does not have peace with God, his elder and prayer, he finds no rest and everything annoys him: time, dampness, crickets, pilgrims. And if you have peace with God and the person who is next to you, you are not engaged in others: "We love each other, God gave us life, we got married, we have children, and they will go their own way."
God will not ask you why you did not oppress him so much, why did not disturb so many others. Become the same and you open arms, like God. Respect the freedom of another and leave him alone.
When we were students, the Metropolitan of Kiev Metropolitan Nikolai (Hadzhinikolau) told a lecture how he once went to his confessor and said:
"Father, I can not take any more!" I will explode in the Church!
"What do you want, child?"
"I can not bear all this pressure in the Church!"
"And what do you want?"
"I want to sin in the end!"
And the priest answered him quite calmly:
- Well, sin.
And when he said this, he immediately calmed down and the desire to sin was lost. He told us:
- He was so calm. I was afraid that he would say: "Do not try to do anything! How is it possible to sin? "- and instead he:" Do it, my child, what do you want to do there? "
Someone will say: "If you say such a child, he will commit sins." And I think it will not. I'll ask you something: is there a way to avoid making sins? Tell me the best way. God grant, find him!
There are cases when you can and abuse the child. Once you told me:
"You have no children, that's why you say so." And if there was a child and he told you that he wants to go out in the evening, and you answered him: let him go where he wants and come back when he wants, you would look then what will be! If you had a child, would you say that to him?
Yes you are right. I too will scold, I will resist, I will begin to speak sharply, how to say it - I hit him with a few words to correct, but still need an approach. And you'll give a slap, but just be careful: the hand that gives the slap should smell a bit of incense. First, pray before you give a slap, grab the rosary, pray for an hour. Spend an hour with beads! Do it and see!
But how hard is it for you to pray! Pray for an hour, and if prayer does not work, knock it, and then we'll see. But only we do not pray, it's easier for us to quarrel, swear, chew on each other.
And let's stop hanging on people labels: who is good, who is bad, who needs correction and who does not.

If you want, I can tell you what help from you will be the greatest for someone who is in danger and who you want to help change. The greatest help to your erring child, husband (wife) or friend - do not put pressure on him, but give him the peace of his soul. So he saw that you have peace of mind in your soul, that you completely trust in God! That's the biggest help!






Archimandrite Andrew (Conanos)