Are we ready to raise a saint?

Each person chooses his own way, each makes his own choice.

Everyone goes in the direction that a person’s heart calls.

The Lord calls us into His Heavenly Kingdom and calls upon each of us to try to find comfort in the cross that He gives us.

He urges us not to persist, not to protest, but to turn this cross into the royal throne! Just like Jesus Christ did - with His Cross. After all, because over the Crucifix and write the words: "King of Glory."

And your glory is in the family cross.

Suffering, sacrifice will lead you to humility, make you a mature person.

Time will pass, and you will understand that marriage is not some hopeless situation, where there is no place for change and hope, but the Sacrament, the path to God, the path to wisdom and salvation.

Realizing this, you will be delighted with your choice of life path - the path of family life and parenthood. It is he who will most likely lead you to God.

Great choice!

And to focus better on the other.

Think about HOW to go this way. And then, moving in this direction, you will begin to see your mistakes.

Watch yourself, your condition, watch yourself.

The child is left alone.

Do not focus on it, as you usually do, but take care of yourself, your soul!

Because if your soul begins to smell sweet, this fragrance will fill all the space in the house.

And children will feel it.

Do you know how important this is?

From the side it may seem that you are moving away from everyday problems and taking a step back, but in reality there is an accumulation of forces - in order to strengthen and return with greater potential.

Take a break from the children. Do not deal with them all the time, and pay attention to yourself. So you will see where you make mistakes in relationships with both them and your spouse.

To look into oneself is not egoism, but a way of self-knowledge.

You can call this “humble egoism” when, in the light of Divine grace, a person sees his reflection and understands where he makes mistakes ...

One woman somehow led to the confession of her son - an elementary school student.

She thought that if the child begins to confess from an early age, she is guaranteed not to turn from the true path, since God will keep him.

She thought it was the best thing she could do for her son.

The boy, meanwhile, was already in fourth grade. And when she led him to the priest, he said:

“You brought the boy to confession too late.”

The woman answered:

“Father, but I just noticed that he began to understand something.” While he was small, I did not take him to confession, because what sins could he have?

To this the priest answered her:

- It's not about the boy. When I said it was too late, I meant you. You should have come to me before the child. Where have you been all these years - when you yourself were 10, 15, 20?

How your child grows - depends on how you were at his age, how you grew up.

Therefore, it was necessary for you to come to me long before his birth - after all, at that time there was a tab not only for those genes that he perceived from you, but also of his mental outlook, his character.

Children take from parents not only the color of the eyes, hair, face shape, appearance and shape. They also take over the inner world — a spiritual dispensation that is either sanctified by grace or not.

Parents often come to the priest for advice. And if that manages to help them open up, then people start talking about a variety of problems with children, in family life. And then you begin to understand how many difficulties are in families and how difficult it is for parents to look inside themselves and come to terms with the fact that somewhere they are wrong, somewhere they are doing wrong!

It is very difficult not to try to defend one’s position, but to humbly ask the question: “Father, what do you think, what is my mistake? What am I doing wrong?".

So hard that people diligently avoid such conversations. And they continue to quarrel, scold the children, blame each other, look for the cause in external circumstances ...

Blame everyone except you! That's why you ask in confession: “How can I change my child, husband, my wife? What should I tell them what to do? ”...

And the Church tells you this:

“Do not fix others. No one has appointed you to this position.

Did you create your child? You just gave birth to him.

But it is - quite a bit! The ovum and the spermatozoon are all your "contributions" to its birth.

And the soul?

Did you put her in his body?

Did you make it so that it could develop, begin to grow and breathe?

Not! So do not do what you have nothing to do with.

This is the work of God.

And you focus on yourself, on your soul - no matter how beautiful or ugly it is.

Try to make your “I” as it should be.

And you know how your child will change after that? He will be great!

And it will happen without a huge amount of effort on your part, without anxiety and surveillance.

Just look at yourself - find out who you are ... ”

One woman came to her confessor and said:

- Father, bless me to find a husband! I really want to start a family. Please pray.

And then the confessor asked her:

- Are you ready to give birth to a saint? Can you raise your child so that he wants to become a saint? In that case, I give you my blessing.

See?

He did not ask her any other questions.

He did not ask if she had a job, money, an apartment — what people usually consider to be the key to a successful marriage.

He asked only this: “Can you raise your child saints?”

If so, then the blessing is given - because the right beginning has been made.

And if not?

And if a woman just wants to marry, because age, because all the friends have already created their families?

Then this is clearly not enough.

Before making such an important decision, everything must be seriously considered - with reasoning and prayer.

Archimandrite Andrew (Konanos)