Orphanage. First call

The first call to the orphanage. This is a routine for us, our employees, everyday and not the most important work. We have it - social workers are running, phones are ringing ... And they, on the other end of the telephone wire, have a day "X", an hour "Che". They went to this for years. They thought about it every day. We watched the program, read the packs in magazines. They took the telephone receiver in their hands and did not dare to dial the number.

- Ale ... Hello ... We want to take the child ...

- Ale ... Hello ... And you have children ...

- Ale ... And where is your orphanage ...

It is very difficult for them to speak. They do not know - how? They do not know - with whom? Pause hangs after the first words. They do not know, but what next? "Here we are, come for a child," they whisper to the Universe and dutifully await an answer ...

So it is important to pick up immediately: "Do you want to take the baby?" - businesslike, but always friendly. So that there - heard: "Everything is fine. You have come where it is necessary. We are pleased." Then we will understand whether they really want and what they want, whether they can and whether we can. Then, then ... And now - to say something that makes a person not at all scary, but on the contrary - happily.

At the dawn of my children's home “career”, Alla Petrovna, our business executive, called me to the telephone. The young man called, he and his wife wanted to take the child from the orphanage. They wanted to want something, but the circumstances they had were “not very” - the apartment was too small, there were too many relatives, and the baby had just been born. Where is there also foster! I held the telephone receiver, understanding that it was necessary just to listen and then politely somehow explain that now is not the time. I have already opened my mouth, I have already begun to say: "You see, Peter, in your situation, we usually do not recommend ..." Alla Petrovna suddenly waved her hand to me and hissed: "Stop talking for a minute." We went out into the corridor.
- Tanya, I want to tell you ... - Alla Petrovna looked at me tenderly and with understanding, - it is very scary to call the orphanage.

- Fearfully? - I'm somehow taken aback, - who's scared?
- Im scared. For those who call.
- Why scary?
- Because their fate is now being decided. We for them - the voice of fate. And now that voice will say to him: "And you went, man ..."
- But they have ... because they still can not, they have there ...
- Yes, I know that they have there ... I talked to him for half an hour, - Alla Petrovna was still looking at me just as gently, - you know, so he decided - and called. Believe me, it's not easy - call the orphanage.
I believed it. And yet - I remembered. She remembered how about two years ago she rang somewhere and learned something. No, I was not going to take the child from the orphanage. Something easier to do. But I still remember how my hands trembled, and how difficult it was to select words. I wonder where Alla Petrovna knew that calling was scary?

- Ale, this is a children's home? Tell me, what kind of children do you have? We need a little blonde girl, my husband is blond ....
The first, completely human reaction - "here I am right now, will run straight and tell you everything about everyone. And then I will start picking up the baby to match the color of her husband's head". It lasts a moment. Then you turn on:

- Do you want to take the child from the orphanage?
- You know, really want. And the husband doubts. So I thought if the child would be like him ... - We talk for half an hour. A good aunt, loves her husband very much and wants children.
- Come to us with her husband. We first invite everyone to the information meeting. It does not bind you to anything. Listen, ask questions ... If you want, sign up for an interview, - an understandable sequence of actions, a calm routine routine. The interlocutor warmly says goodbye. Pleasant woman, says social worker Natalya Chulanova.
The phone stops for a while, then it rings again:

- Ale, this is a children's home? We would like to adopt a child ...

Well, yes, we have a foster home. You can say with a clear conscience that you are supposedly not here. Only now, many believe that "adopt" - this means "take the child from the orphanage." Once a woman called: "We want to adopt foster care." You need to talk to a person ...

- Hello. Yes, this is an orphanage. You just got into the service for the child in the family. Do you want to adopt it?
- Yes, I actually ... Well, we want a child ... And what do you mean - custody, or what? No, we don't want custody, we want him to call us mom and dad.
- You know, we have a foster home. And what age do you want a baby?
- Well, about five years old .. Or six. To prepare for school in time. What is patronage?

In half an hour, perhaps, it will be possible to drink coffee. In the meantime, we are discussing everything - what is the difference between custody and adoption and patronage and everything else, and at what age a child needs to start preparing for school .... Perhaps these are not our “clients”. And they will not take the child from us, but somewhere else. But to us they will not be afraid to call. Suddenly, what will have to ask. Dite some heat, regardless of the form of the device ...

Source:  http://tatiana-gubina.livejournal.com