How to understand and accept a teenager

Look at him with different eyes

Teenagers are the most vulnerable part of our society. Teenagers and old people. I will write about the old people, and today about them, the grown-up children.
The teenager is the subject of universal parental cooling. I have been talking about this for a long time, thinking about it. Recently I read one famous author, he writes about the same. Parents turn a blind eye to their adolescents, they cannot cope with them, and most importantly, by this time, children somehow already manage not to justify their parental expectations. Parents are disappointed, although few recognize this.
When a child is small, for parents he is the center of the universe. They try to give him the best, remember their unfulfilled dreams and hope that he can do it. Museums, circles, the best schools, the best teachers ...
A teenager - he is different, he is not very similar to that adored baby, sometimes he is almost a stranger - doubtful, obstinate, prickly. It is difficult to convince him of something (and to change his mind) and therefore it is easier to close his eyes, and come what may.
Teenagers are often left to their own devices. For me, for example, it is not surprising that there are many of them at rallies. When asked where their parents are looking, there is only one answer: yes, they do not look anywhere, most likely they do not even know. When I caught myself thinking that it was hard for me with my son, that it was simply unbearable for me to prove something to him non-stop, I found a life vest for our relationship.
I fell in love with him again! Fell in love with my son as an adult - independent, rebellious and beyond my control
Since then, our conversations in the kitchen, before bedtime, have resumed. I suddenly found out that my fears that he might become a hooker are vain: it turns out that he, on the contrary, is an anti-hooker. He and his friends warn schoolchildren against doing things that could cost someone their lives.
We talked about rallies, including. By the way, he and I have different political views, but that did not stop me from hearing him.
I love my son and his friends very much. I am fascinated by teenagers, I am in awe of how they cut a path into their lives. These are the most honest, coolest people.
Parents' eyes are often blurred, we do not realize how cool it is to be with these people who are dear to us, who are now on the verge of their adult life. We live from day to day as if eternity is meted out with them.
You should get to know a teenager as an independent person, a person who still desperately needs us, but tries in every possible way not to show it.
It is this independence and helplessness in one bottle that infuriates adults the most. Instead of giving vent to anger, ask yourself questions:
• What is he reading?
• Why not read?
• What is his sense of humor?
• What is he listening to?
• What does he care about?
To love your child who has become a teenager is a mission that is feasible, moreover, it is simply necessary. But this will happen only if you see in it an independent personality that is relevant to you only by the fact of birth in your family. The rest is another person who just needs total acceptance and unconditional love.
Do not push, do not push, get to know him gradually, as well as with any other person. Read it like a book - page by page, do not try to scroll through long descriptions. Enjoy your reading!

Irina Chekhova https://mel.fm/blog/irina-chekhova/46189-kak-ponyat-i-prinyat-podrostka