Forgive yourself

Sometimes it happens that old mistakes and grievances drag on for years, not giving us the opportunity to simply live our lives. It's one thing when it is resentment against others and much more painful when they are against themselves ... How to forgive yourself? Let's talk about it today.
"Behold at the root"
We must strive to understand the essence of the problem, and not its emotional consequences. If you raised your voice to a person, for example, by breaking the chain of command, then now you feel guilty for the manifestation of emotions. But this is not the point, it is important to find the root cause for action.
The right to make mistakes
Often we cannot forgive ourselves precisely because of their mistakes, believing that we should be perfect. Ideal PEOPLE do not exist. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone reproaches themselves for them. Take a piece of paper and write on it "I allow myself to be wrong" or "You can be wrong" and re-read from time to time. The next time you make a wrong step, it will be much easier for you!
Confession of a miss
Verbalizing the miss bleeds him! Share with yourself what you did wrong, describe it, or even better - write it on paper. Your courage and honesty in front of yourself will do their job - it will become much easier for you.
The best way
We must stop reproaching ourselves for something that cannot be returned. Accept that the decision made in the past at that time was the best: if you could have made a different decision, you would have made it! But you did what you did. The next time you may (although not a fact), do otherwise. The past cannot be changed! It must be accepted.
Fully armed
Analysis and study of the mistakes made helps to avoid their repetition. It makes sense not just to write out the essence of your mistake, but to think over new ways to solve it if it may occur in the future. With this approach, the error is worked out more constructively and the future ceases to be scary.
Сonclusions
Ask yourself what lesson can be learned from what happened. Analyze the answers, draw conclusions, and to consolidate the results, write them down in a notebook. This will help not only ease the torment, but also avoid repeating the mistake in the future.
Letter of happiness
If the way out of self-distraction is difficult, writing letters helps ... to yourself;) Describe in detail your experiences, in particular, what exactly haunts you. Then you can throw the letter away or burn it. This action can be repeated several times, but often just once is enough. If the problem still persists, it is better to seek the help of a specialist.
Sometimes we continue to reprimand ourselves also because there is simply no one to tell us words of encouragement. Talk to yourself as a small child, giving yourself the warmth and acceptance you need. No reproaches and rude words. Imagine how you hug yourself a little one and say that this little man did everything he could, he is a fine fellow and everything is already in the past! Say thank you, mentally or on paper, to everyone involved in past events about whom there is concern. And do not forget to say thanks to God who gave you life and the opportunity to learn from past experience!
And remember: by forgiving yourself, you let go of the past and open the door to new possibilities!

Alexandra N